You're far away I know that's true,
I wish that I was there with you...
Send me the pillow that you dream on,
So that I may rest my head upon the same pillow and share your dreams.
Look at the stars....
and you will see that we are not as far apart as we may seem.
Cast your wishes upon the winds,
So that I may hear them and wish for them to come true.
Everything you see, The stars and the moon;
Remember that I can see them too.
Wherever you are, Wherever I am;
Don't forget that we're seeing the exact same stars.
So look up at the sky wherever you are...
and you'll see the distance between us isn't very far.
I just wanted you to know,
that it is you that fills my heart.
Missing you,
More than you will ever know.
Always...
⥠you and i both loved
My Life today....sigh...just mixed feelings of
upset,
depression,
sadness,
confusion
lost...
and a touch of jealousy
....sigh....
Nana...i guess what you wrote in your blog is true...
somehow i just feel that we're just.....
unwanted...
unnoticed.....
uninvited....
forgotten....
rejected
in our lives.
hmm... well it's "her" birthday today...
Hope she had fun celebrating with the rest...
with our classmates
except...me...
sigh...
Even Colin got to celebrate her birthday today....
without....me...
I cant expect anything, can i?
Somehow i felt that, to them...
i'm always an outsider..
just because i'm an "online" student
therefore i'm useless
and i dun deserve to be in their cliques
or maybe because i'm just one proud and stuck up person.
and they dislike me
hmm... i wonder if what i've said is true...
Well i guess that's how life goes..
i just have to accept that fact
i'll just live in my own world..
feeling rejected, unwanted...etc...
life has to go on...
no matter what...
To "her"....
Happy 19th Birthday...hope you enjoy your day with everybody you spent with.
Hope all your wishes come through
Hope you'll always be happy with him....
Take care....
Goodbye...
Goodnight people....
⥠you and i both loved
DELUSIVE DETACHMENT
(A Simple Solitary Life)
It is done.
It is over.
Now I have time to
catch up on some reading
and watch the most recent
movies on dvd.
And I'll be able to
spend more time
with the friends I've not seen
as often as I used to.
And I'm free to write
or take a nap
or play the stereo
whenever I choose.
I don't want to waste my time
writing long e-mails at night
or waiting for the phone to ring
or going to the walking path or
that certain spot at the forest park.
But sometimes I'll hear a certain song
or see something that reminds me
that memories are not easily forgotten,
and the price of the emotion they bring,
some thoughts are hard to vanish from the mind,
and the heart sometimes never lets go.
There is a tiny trace of release, of relief
but it is overpowered by the
overwhelming ache of a broken heart
as I'm adding yet another brick
to the internal wall.
I try to push away the constant thoughts,
the wanting, the need, the love,
replace it with numb calmness
and dead oblivion.
It is haunting standing here
in the eye of the storm,
and I know these emotions
aren't through with me yet.
The world seems a little more
distant today.Everything is different
and hard and empty.
It is done.
It is over.
Goodnight!!!!
⥠you and i both loved
Well well well......The "deadly' cough strikes back again!! damn.. i'm like suffering from the "deadly" cough again lah...what a shitty feeling....Every minute of my life for the past few days, i've been like producing a non-stop hits of "cough music" ....cannot help it lah... i'm just one weak person. Maybe because i have not been taking my medication. haha.*bleah* okok... i'll go take it soon.... hehehe....Now..about my exam results....one word...."Sucks"....Basically i passed everything except the mutha fuckin Contact Centre Mgt...WTH lah...studied so hard....but still fail. Sigh....Gotta buck up and work hard for my supp paper man....I need to pass it...if not....a bye bye to my early graduation. hmm....well back to the things i did... again.....Let me take you back to.........just yesterday......hehe...
=Friday=
Hmm... started the day by going to Kristy's with Ah Ban and Joyce to slack as we got nothing better to do... hmm... There, Joyce studied with Kristy by her side to guide her along...while me and Ah Ban did some channel browsing with Kristy's cable TV. We had Pizza for lunch too.Oh ya..Kyrie joined us at around 4pm++i think..hehhe....At around 6pm++me and the rest headed down to town and met AH POA THE BASTARD KING!!! haha jkjk...while Joyce went back to get herself all dressed up for clubbing. Had dinner at BK....after which they all headed to PS while i made my way to Orchard MRT station where i'm supposed to meet Nana.(supposedly to be each others companion for the night) At around 9.20pm++ Nana arrived with her big Puma sling bag... what a funny but cute sight though... we then rushed off for Zouk/Phuture.
Fortunately, me and Nana managed to reach Zouk/Phuture just before 10pm. I got my entrance fee paid at $15 and got my had stamped. After which met Veron and Wennie and their clubbing cliques. Also, we met Benson and Willyn (my apologies for spelling errors of names). Apparently, it was Benson's birthday. hmm...After chilling for awhile inside Zouk/Phuture, me and Nana felt abit bored and headed to the dance floor and started dancing.It was awkward at first but we got the hang of it eventually. Though it was Zouk's/Phuture's last R&B night, the music was like damn sucky lah....the music only got better towards the end with some familiar beats and tunes. Halfway through the dancing and chilling, i accompanied Nana to meet her friend to collect some stuff. She's like one lucky girl lah..always like receiving nice stuffs from friends. Then, we went back to dance again. Me and Nana were like sticking to each other the whole night having fun dancing, scanning cute guys and girls and teasing each other....Halfway through the dance again, we decided to slack outside Zouk to get some fresh air. We took a slow stroll to the nearest petrol kiosk to get ourselves drinks and some chocs. We sat at a curb beside the petrol kiosk and started enjoying our ever fresh drinks and chocs. While enjoying, we started sharing about our "histories" of each others life, exchanging views and advices about past relationships. As i got to know more, i actually felt sad for Nana on how she's trying so hard to move on in life...Somtimes i just cant bear to see friends suffering, be it physically, mentally or emotionally. (I just hope she would get over it soon and see her happy again.) Anyway, in the midst of enjoying our drinks, chocs and the interesting stories, its started to rain. So we made our way back to Zouk and also mainly because Veron was going off and wanted to collect her stuff. It was like raining damn heavily lah...and we got drenched. After everything was settled, headed back to Zouk/Phuture....It was damn packed lah... Can't even go in...so me and Nana decided to stay at the entrance. We stared at people around us and made fun of other people's dance moves and stuff. Its like so funny la... haha... Oh ya...before i forget, Kristy and Joyce were there too...I felt kinda bad not accompanying them and not having fun with them.. My deepest apologies girls...anyway hope the had fun though..hmm....anyway, me and Nana eventually managed to squeeze through the crowds and to the dance floor again. Shortly after, Wennie joined us. Danced till about 4am, after which me, Nana, Wennie and her friends gathered outside and planned where to go next. Knowing that Nana stays near Jalan Kayu, me and Nana made a decision in going Jalan Kayu for breakfast and surprisingly everyone agreed to it. Kinda had fun with the rest there when we stared telling lame jokes and teasing one another though we were like dead tired. After breakfast, the rest headed back home while me and Nana waited the the nearest bus-stop for the 1st bus to Sengkang. While waiting, i was being entertained by Nana's MP3 player. Thanx Girll!! Thats when i realised she likes rock songs...Rock On Girl!!!! haha...At 6.30am++ the bus came and we took the bus. Nana alighted the bus halfway through the journey and headed back home while i sat all the way to the interchange. Topped up my EZ link and took 163 back home... Damn i swear it was a long journey back home. At about 7.35am....and finally....home sweet home....hehe...well i shall stop here for now. Shall be back soon to bring you the next episode of "MuQ's Life"..haha.. Till then..MuQ signing out...
(Nana:.Hey..had lots of fun accompanying you and stuff and thanx for accompanying me and everything... Tk care alrite!!! see ya on msn..Stay happy..)
(Kristy and Joyce: My deepest apologies again for not being there to have fun with you girls. So Sorry. Didn't mean to abandon you all.)
(Benson: Happy Birthday!!!!!)
⥠you and i both loved
Hey hey... Life had been busy for the past four days. I've been busy hanging out and partying with friends etc...I was like having lots of fun lah.... hmm.... okok... let take u to a journey back to the past four days of my life........(WARNING!! This gonna be a LONG ENTRY!!!! PLs Do Not Fall Asleep!!!)
...FRIDAY...
This day....hmm.... let me see.....*thinks hard*....oh ya..i went clubbing at Black with Jinsiong and Geoff together with his TEP friends. That also includes the people i know like....Joanne and Gilda (my deepest apology if the names were spelt wrongly)....oh ya...yeah... Before clubbing, i met the Bastard Inc memebers to hang out and chill at Orchard. It's so nice of them to accompany me while i waited for jinsiong before he made his presence. hehe... When Jinsiong arrived, Bastard Inc memebers left for home while i went partying the whole night!! hahah....okok... went in to Black at about 10.30pm...OMG!!! Cant believed our eyes when we went in. It's was packed at the dance floor already lah... Packed with geeky students from Nus and bag packs were like lying around everywhere..EVEN ON THE DANCE PODIUM!! gosh.... Apparently they had some bash goin on or something...hmm...So, me, jinsiong and the rest chilled at the bar and ordered drinks...as for me, i only drank ICE PLAIN WATER...yeah..(for your info, i dont touch alcoholic drinks.) hehe... we chilled till about 11pm ++...thats when the REAL music began to start! Jinsiong and I made the first move by going down to the dance floor...then the rest joined the fun!! From the the dance floor ,me, JInsiong, Joanne and Gilda keep dancing and eventually made our way to the middle podium. yeah!! its only the four of us dancing at the podium. After that, we made our way to the second floor of Black as the girls wanna go to the ladies. Me Jinsiong and Geoff chilled at the bar.....and guess who we saw??? hehe.. yeah saw HER!!! okok saw "SAM", Nic and Mel chilling at the bar too...At that moment, i suddenly beccame SO SHY!!! I kept exchanging smiles with "her" while the rest chatted. Damn i was like melting lah when i saw "her" smile!! OMG and that stupid Jinsiong wont stop teasing me just because "she" was there.. !!! okok...enough of that shit...After the girls came out from the Ladies, we headed back down to the dancefloor. We danced and danced and saw "her" again at the members section. And from nowhere.."she" appeared again but now with "him"...sigh... at that moment, my mood was abit down..but that doesnt stop me from havin fun! At aroun 2am++, Jinsiong and his TEP friends went home as they had soccer match the next morning. So...im left alone with with Joanne and Gilda. Two girls and one guy...HEHEH!!!! haha Me and Joanne then started dancing at the side podium near the members section. There, i got a clearer view of "her"!!! damn i swear she's so cute lah.....As usual, we danced and chilled till about 3.30am++ when Gilda left for home with her friend. Jaonne and me then decided to chill at the bar again while we watched sm guys doing their crip-walk moves. Joanne tried doin it bt she juz cant get the steps right. Its was a funny sight though. So i taught her abit of the crip-walking thingy....haha..then we chilled till Joanne's friend, who is a bartender there, ended his wk..then headed down to Mac. Drank ice-tea while they eat. After that waited for the 1st bus and headed hm...
...SATURDAY...
OkOk... reached hm from clubbing at about 6.45am++. Mum was awake already doin housework. I had breakfast then went to sleep. Slept till about 11.30am++ and gt ready to go to Ah ban's house for filming. Cant belive it! Had only about 3.5hrs of sleep and im still energetic. hmm.. Reached Ah ban's house at about 3.15pm++ but before that met the crew at causeway point. At Ah ban's house, we did some filming and had some B'dae celebration for Ah pao!!! haha...Damn he's one lucky bastard. He also gt an "X-LARGE" Tee as a preziee from Ah ban, Kristy and me lah!! (Hey Ah pao!! I want an Obey Tee on my B'dae ya!!)..heheh...After all that celebration...we went to Causeway Point again for dinner...and headed back home...
...SUNDAY...
HAPPY B"DAY AH PAO!!!!!!!! haha.... alright pple!!...it was Ah pao's B'dae,heheh.. and the Bastard Inc decided to to hang out and play pool. so...played pool we did and it ended up as a fair result...haha....had fun crapping and playing and at about 5pm, Ah pao had to join his family for dinner while me and Ah ban headed back home.... When i reached home, i felt kinda tired, so i thought of getting a super early gdnight slp after dinner. So at ard 8pm++ i fell aslp!!!! And Guess what?? at 11.30pm++ i was awakened by 1 received message alert on my Hp. ALL THANX TO THAT BASTARD AH BAN who msged me to ask about my plans for the next day!!! haha...And so...at that moment of time, i suddenly became so wide awake..sigh! heehe Well...went down to the living room to see if there's any nice show to watch...So did sm channel browsing. So i ended up watching WWE Summer Slam. damn i missed watching wrestling. haha,...To my suprise, my parents joined me in watching the show. Its been so long since i watched wrestling with the whole family. missed those days. We then started bringing up about the memories and the old times we had and stuff. hmm... halfway through the show, my parents went to bed while i watched it till the end after which i went to bed at about 4.45am++.....
...MONDAY...
Thanx to AH BAN again, i got awakened by the vibrations of my Hp. Ah ban called me and told me his plans. So i agreed and went back to sleep again. At about 1pm++ i got up from bed, bathed and got ready for a day of another outings with the Bastard Inc. Initially met Ah ban and Sofyan in town....walked around as Sofyan was trying find a lat min preziee for Ah pao...bt then changed his plans and decided to give us a dinner treat.hehe... so nice of him. OH YA!!!! SAW "HER" too at Heeren. "She" was working. Managed to say 'Hi' to "her" and exchanged smiles.(I WANNA HAVE A LUNCH DATE WITH HER!!!!) heheh...And as usual, Ah ban and Sofyan couldnt stop teasing me. haha... At around 6pm++ Ah pao joined us and had dinner at Sakura. YUM YUM!!! Afterwhich, we toured around orchard again and slacked at Taka's Coffee Bean. OMG!!! While slacking, Sofyan actually embarrassed us when he broke a glass. haha....at that moment, we just cant stop laughing!! haha... Had soo much fun!!!.....then at around 9pm++ we headed back home...
...TUESDAY...
Well, here i am now, typing on my laptop about the things i've done for the past four days... really had a great time spending time with the Bastard Inc and the rest. hmm... About today, i did nothing but stayed at home.Trying to be a good boy for today. hehe... well thats all i have to say i guess...till then....MUQ signing out!!
⥠you and i both loved
As I approach the day, I wonder what's next
Something new everyday, another problem to add to my shelf
How wonderful the day appears, but yet how dreadful the day shall disappear
One day to the next, one problem resulting in another
Where do these problems evolve from, smoldering in my body as I die
Die from what, I've yet confirmed as only I wonder
As I wait for that day, I shall wait alone
Alone without any sympathy from the rest, the rest of which will live on
Until that day comes, I shall not faint relieving myself of my duties
My life will go as it should, shamefully I shall continue
Waiting for that day, the day for myself to depart
But I ask myself depart from what, just this earth shall be it
My soul will rein throughout, throughout the hearts or many
At least I hope, nothing can be contained, not even my hope
But the hope I flourish shames me no fear, for I am ready to elapse for good
Hmm... well here are some pics taken at SP during the shooting. All thanks to Ah Ban's camera phone...
⥠you and i both loved
I'm not in the best of mood rite now...and ...i... am really, really just so FUCKING SICK of playing this game of life. I live in my own world and by my own rules....so.. FUCK THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD!!!!! Damn.....
Goodnight.!!
⥠you and i both loved